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Vlog #5

 

Me rambling (I tend to do that I’ve noticed :I ) about new year, my goals, and reaching half completion with my book.

 

Snippet from 7.

Apparently I was not good at making barriers. It was like hitting a brick wall at hundred miles an hour. I was thrown high and far, and the energy barrier shattered into a million tiny gold lights. I hit the ground hard, but layers of snow and Mishal landing under me cushioned my fall as much as landing on a chunk of obsidian could. I think I must have blacked out for a moment or two, because when I woke, Mishal was pulling me out of the snow. I felt something hot and liquid on the side of my face, and when I dabbed at my temple, it came away dark and red. I must have hit my head on the way down. Mishal looked very guilty and I felt a little bit dizzy, but Leviathan’s rumbling helped me refocus.

He’d lost his momentum and was sort of coasting sideways in the water; apparently the wall had hit him just as hard as he had hit us. That made me feel a little bit better about our prospects, and simultaneous guilty for pretty much punching an Old God in the face with my magick, but it was a win-lose kind of situation.

Not a particularly fabulous piece of writing and its still in draft 1, but I kind of liked how it sounded, so there it is.

Being your own cheerleader

…because sometimes, it’s nescessary.

Seriously, let me preface this by saying I’ve done some of the crappiest writing of my life in the past two ish days, because I can’t get that “writer’s grove” to sit in just the right place. I think it’s because I have a tooth ache again (some crappy annoying thing that happens with my wisdom teeth), and I think it’s distracting my brain from being it’s usual awesome self.

Anyway, I think I mentioned this somewhere before (or maybe only thought about mentioning it), but I think I said something about having to write turds for a while, until the good stuff came back. I really hate writing poo, but I keep telling myself thats what editing and multiple drafts are for.

I was in the middle of chapter, and I stopped and thought, “Okay, really… this is just horrible. This is like, mary-sue-esque cliche third grader writing. Wtf, Tori? Erase dat shit.” I really wanted to, but like that meme, I was like “ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!”, so on I went.

Sometimes I think it’s important to be your own cheerleader. No one else is gonna sit there and tell you its okay to do crappy, because your version of crappy isn’t actually all that crappy, and you’re just being a self-hating writer. Really, it’s probably not that bad, but it still irritates me. I’m one of those people who want to get it done exactly perfect, every time. That’s probably not very productive, but oh well.

Go, me! You can do it! What you think is crappy isn’t actually so bad! You can fix it later! Just keep writing, just keep writing, what do we do, we write, write~ Isn’t it cool to watch your chapter folder grow?

Why, yes Me, it is. Thank you for that pep talk.

/teh-hearts.

The connection between music and writing? What do you listen to?

For no reason, other than that I was in a pondering sort of mood, I really sat down and thought about.

I have something like 561 tracks qued for my “Writing Music” playlist. As I was writing a chapter this morning, I noticed, curiously, how well the music was matching the scene. It was a very neat coincidence. And then I started to wonder, “Well, how does music convey a feeling, or a mood?”

I honestly don’t know. Some music makes me want to write the scene or suspenseful, other tracks make me want to write the scene soft, and maybe romantic. Still other tracks are just so damn epic I have to take down a little note about the scene that comes into my head. I freaking love music.

When I was younger, I listened to the soundtrack for the Prince of Egypt (I’m talking like… when I was 11, tops.) And some of the scores on the soundtrack were so emotional for my little eleven year old brain, that I saw a series of events in my head, like I was watching a scene painted by the sounds. I think I may have cried, but I was 11, so I probably cried at alot of weird stuff. I found that cd the other day, and listened to it for nostalgia’s sake, and I had the same ‘movie’ in my head.

This post really has no point other than to convey the depth of awe I have for music and writing.

I feel like, if I was going to use some sort of clever analogy here, it’d be “If writing was a snowcone, music would be the bottle the flavor comes out.” A little far reaching, and I may just be hungry, but still.

What do you listen to when you write? Do you listen to music at all? Do you need absolute quiet? I envy those of you who can write to any music. I wish I could write to music that has words, but I always ended up either distracted or singing along; I’m not very productive with word music. Soundtracks and orchestral stuff I’m all over. Even occasional dubstep. Mostly notably stuff like what Two Steps From Hell do. I know some people who need absolute silence to write. I don’t even those people, unless they have a nice quiet office somewhere.

Anyway, thats my thoughts on music for the day. If anybody gets this far and has music to share, I wouldn’t mind adding something new to my playlist.

Guilt, quotas, and falling in love with your character.

So, I have a confession to make: I don’t often make my word count quotas. Well, sometimes. I feel bad about that. I don’t know if it’s lazyness (it’s probably lazyness) or if I’m too easily distracted. It may be a bit of both, but the fact that I’m still going is encouraging right?

I feel like maybe I’m just freaking out too much. I started this thing with the idea in my head that I would spend every waking out not in school or at my job writing. So far, thats fairly accurate. I get up at the buttcrack of dawn, and am on the laptop until bedtime in most cases. Now, how much writing gets done, I don’t know.

Perhaps I’m simply making too much out of it; maybe numbers isn’t the thing. Perhaps writing is more fluid and less rational than that – maybe it just needs to come out, and wherever you get to is wherever you get to that day. I’m steadily making progress though.

It’s kind of scary.

Whats also kind of scary, is that I’m starting to get the first tiny whispers of feedback on the very first chapters. The book is in its infancy, but it seems to be able to stand on its own so far. I’ve had some very helpful criticism about the content, and its been remarkably helpful, even in these early stages.

I always feel I’m getting ahead of my with this thing. I’ll gaze longingly at bookcovers, or read up about paperback publishing options, and stuff. CALM DOWN TORI. BREATHE. (Or as Maegan would say, “CALM YO TITS”. It’s hilarious when she says it, I promise.)

I just have to keep telling myself, “Just write. Thats all you need to do. Just write. Trust Lucy to tell your story. Just write. Just write.”

Is it creepy that I talk about Lucy like she’s real? Does that happen for alot of writers? The more I write her, the more I feel I know her, and the more I feel I know her, the more I tend to refer to her in a third-ish person kind of sense. I like her. I like her world. I like Irwin, and I like Mishal. I dunno. Maybe thats weird.

As a semi-related note, I’m super excited to have a writing buddy. I think it helps alot. I like being able to bounce ideas off of her. I also like reading her book, and I wish there was more of it. I want her to finish it! I believe she can. I’m all wiggly with the prospects. e_e

Also, I have to go to work today. So, that sucks. I’d rather be writing.

Kicking myself in the butt.

Or, I need to anyway. I’ve been very lazy about my word count today. Granted, I also had a final exam, but… who cares about final exams when there’s books to write? (Thats not true. I care. But still.)

I think it’s because I’m still in the early stages of this whole writing thing. I need a personal trainer, but for writing. Someone to punch me in the ass when I started floating over to Pinterest for my books board, or looking at the Facebook page for it. I dunno. Maybe I have natural lazyness? Am I afraid? Probably. I think I’m just the kind of person who needs absolute peace and quiet to really churn out the good stuff.

But I do like my book so far. I’m having these weird moments where it sort of just writes itself. Some random cool idea will wiggle its way in without me even trying. It’s very cool. Ask me about the Tank sometime. Bloop.

In other news, I’m still distracted. There’s a lot of ‘promotional’ stuff to do. Facebook pages, and vlogs (if I ever get up the courage), and a Pinterest board, and a whole bunch of other junk. I think I may be getting ahead of myself, though. This is the kind of thing you should be focusing on -after- a book is finished, not before. I think I’m just too excited for myself, or something.

I think I will keep up with this blog, just for the sake of documenting my progress and my ups and downs and stuff, but I dont think I’m going to do anything majorly besides that. I did some napkin math type planning, and if I stick to around 3k to 4k words a day, I should be able to finish the first draft in about a month. Perphaps. That’s the plan anyway.

I really hope I can do this. I know I can do this, but I really hope I actually do this.

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