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Vlog #5


Me rambling (I tend to do that I’ve noticed :I ) about new year, my goals, and reaching half completion with my book.



I know it’s way too early to be thinking about covers, but….

Its just so damn pretty.

It’s just so damn pretty. It’s exactly the quality of cover I had always dreamed would contain my pages. I know it’s all copyrighted and stuff, and I’m not trying to steal it or anything. But it’s pretty damn glorious. The layout is pretty much perfect. I think its the layout I’m in love with. And the colors. And the images. And the fonts. It’s just all around awesome.

I know its waaaaaaaay too early to even be thinking about book covers, but I know I want one like this, quality wise atleast. But I like to dream. I can dream, can’t I? One day I’ll have a book with a cover like this.

One day.

Cautious Optimism

Some thoughts this week.

Being your own cheerleader

…because sometimes, it’s nescessary.

Seriously, let me preface this by saying I’ve done some of the crappiest writing of my life in the past two ish days, because I can’t get that “writer’s grove” to sit in just the right place. I think it’s because I have a tooth ache again (some crappy annoying thing that happens with my wisdom teeth), and I think it’s distracting my brain from being it’s usual awesome self.

Anyway, I think I mentioned this somewhere before (or maybe only thought about mentioning it), but I think I said something about having to write turds for a while, until the good stuff came back. I really hate writing poo, but I keep telling myself thats what editing and multiple drafts are for.

I was in the middle of chapter, and I stopped and thought, “Okay, really… this is just horrible. This is like, mary-sue-esque cliche third grader writing. Wtf, Tori? Erase dat shit.” I really wanted to, but like that meme, I was like “ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!”, so on I went.

Sometimes I think it’s important to be your own cheerleader. No one else is gonna sit there and tell you its okay to do crappy, because your version of crappy isn’t actually all that crappy, and you’re just being a self-hating writer. Really, it’s probably not that bad, but it still irritates me. I’m one of those people who want to get it done exactly perfect, every time. That’s probably not very productive, but oh well.

Go, me! You can do it! What you think is crappy isn’t actually so bad! You can fix it later! Just keep writing, just keep writing, what do we do, we write, write~ Isn’t it cool to watch your chapter folder grow?

Why, yes Me, it is. Thank you for that pep talk.


Guilt, quotas, and falling in love with your character.

So, I have a confession to make: I don’t often make my word count quotas. Well, sometimes. I feel bad about that. I don’t know if it’s lazyness (it’s probably lazyness) or if I’m too easily distracted. It may be a bit of both, but the fact that I’m still going is encouraging right?

I feel like maybe I’m just freaking out too much. I started this thing with the idea in my head that I would spend every waking out not in school or at my job writing. So far, thats fairly accurate. I get up at the buttcrack of dawn, and am on the laptop until bedtime in most cases. Now, how much writing gets done, I don’t know.

Perhaps I’m simply making too much out of it; maybe numbers isn’t the thing. Perhaps writing is more fluid and less rational than that – maybe it just needs to come out, and wherever you get to is wherever you get to that day. I’m steadily making progress though.

It’s kind of scary.

Whats also kind of scary, is that I’m starting to get the first tiny whispers of feedback on the very first chapters. The book is in its infancy, but it seems to be able to stand on its own so far. I’ve had some very helpful criticism about the content, and its been remarkably helpful, even in these early stages.

I always feel I’m getting ahead of my with this thing. I’ll gaze longingly at bookcovers, or read up about paperback publishing options, and stuff. CALM DOWN TORI. BREATHE. (Or as Maegan would say, “CALM YO TITS”. It’s hilarious when she says it, I promise.)

I just have to keep telling myself, “Just write. Thats all you need to do. Just write. Trust Lucy to tell your story. Just write. Just write.”

Is it creepy that I talk about Lucy like she’s real? Does that happen for alot of writers? The more I write her, the more I feel I know her, and the more I feel I know her, the more I tend to refer to her in a third-ish person kind of sense. I like her. I like her world. I like Irwin, and I like Mishal. I dunno. Maybe thats weird.

As a semi-related note, I’m super excited to have a writing buddy. I think it helps alot. I like being able to bounce ideas off of her. I also like reading her book, and I wish there was more of it. I want her to finish it! I believe she can. I’m all wiggly with the prospects. e_e

Also, I have to go to work today. So, that sucks. I’d rather be writing.

I started a vlog to document my journey to publish my book. (I keep calling it a journey, but I cant think of any other suitable synonyms… project maybe?)

Either way, here’s me talking about stuff and things.

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