When did that happen? I’m just about at 20k of my 80k goal for my first book. In the words of internet memes, “Well, that escalated fast.” Seriously though, I didn’t even see it coming. 20k in just under two weeks. (If my calendar and math-y skills are correct).
Small milestone, perhaps, but still. A fourth of my book is done… minus the hours going to be spent on fixing holes and crappy writing, and the black, soul-sucking void that is Chapter 7. However small this accomplishment may be, and however silly it is to write a post about my small accomplishment, it’s still a motivator. “I’ll be done with this in no time!”, says the happy part of my brain.
The one thing that keeps bugging me at the back of my head is all the things I’ll have to do when I finish. I have never taken a marketing class, I don’t know what on earth I’m going to do to format this thing when its done (I don’t even know what that entails! Help!), and I can’t even count the amount of social networking sites and stuff I’ll have to do to get it out there when it IS done.
I think this is another one of those jumping-the-gun-things (I tend to do that a lot), but it bugs me when I don’t know the exact plan for something. I think there’s a word for it, but I can’t think of it right now. Either way, I’m pretty scared that I’ll trying really hard on the whole marketing thing, and then fail horribly. All authors want their books to SELL SELL SELL, but so many of them don’t. I know the point of writing a book (for most people) isn’t the money aspect, but it would be really nice if I could make this my career. (You know, the whole dream-job-life thing…)
Are you guys tired of hearing about my anxiety? I sure am. :I
Every once in a while in life you come across people who ‘speak your language’. Not literally speak your language, but people who “get” your “stuff”. Sometimes these people are friends, or teachers, or gaming buddies, or co-workers, or whatever.
These people are usually in the same sphere of things you’re passionate about. Sometimes they’re not. Regardless of thier passion, you see that same spark of determination and zeal in that as you do in yourself when you talk about a thing you love. Maybe it’s BMX biking for your buddy, and sewing for you. Maybe your best friend LOVES the SHIT out of cosplay, and you’re fucking bonkers for table top RPGs. Maybe your good work friend is serious about his music, and you’re going to school to pursue that graphic designer’s degree. Whatever it is, when you both are discussing that thing that drives you, it all sounds the same.
Maegan, my bestie and writing buddy, is about as close to being in my actual brain as humanely possible without a brain transplant, and she understands my drive. We have similar dreams, I think. But there are still others who ‘get it’.
For me, there’s also my work-buddy Kayla. She’s passionate about her photography, and I feel like she and I are cut form the same kind of cloth. Different colors on the same cloth, but the same cloth regardless. Photography is just another form of expression. My tools are a keyboard and a blank document; hers is a camera shutter. When she talks about how photography makes her happy, and about that moment when she realized she was serious about going after it, I heard my story in hers. I’d experienced that moment. I was driving to work and thinking, “What is this shit? My real dream job is back on that laptop at home.” It was one of those self-understanding kind of moments, and I knew exactly what she meant.
She recently had one of these epiphany-type moments, she told me, where you realize all the crap you’re doing doesnt really truly make you happy, and its about damn time to get up and pursue that thing you love. I was, in that moment, glad to be friends with someone who understood what it was like to have that ‘aha’-drive moment. I admire her for her determination, and I hope to emulate it.
When I decided to really, REALLY do this writing thing, my life changed. My perspective shifted, and I see things a little differently now. I know its going to be a lot of hard work, but I also know its going to be rewarding, and I’ve come to the realization that I’m immensely more content with my life now that I’ve decided to chase this thing they call ‘the dream’.
I’m not just “hoping it’ll happen one day”. I’m chasing this fucker down and hog-tying it to the truck I’m going to use to plow through all of my obstacles.
My point is, its nice to have other chasers in the arena with you, getting dirty, and trying to hog-tie their own bastard dream pig-things.