Some thoughts this week.
I’ve done some of my worst writing today. Chapter 7 is a giant turd. I hate it. The good news is I know whats wrong with it, so thats helpful. It’ll probably be completely re-written in a later draft, but I’m still stuck driving through this slush of crappy phrases.
How do I get past this crap? Do I just soldier through? Not worry about? Maybe it’s not as turd-esque as I’m thinking?
….Can you tell I’m procrastinating again? >_> Chapter 7 has been haunting me for like, 3 days. >_< GO HOME CHAPTER 7, YOU’RE DRUNK,
So, this is a combo vlog/video response to Shelina from WriterInspired. The original video is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx07mVbqpS8
and her wordpress is here: http://awriterinspired.wordpress.com/page/2/
Hi, my name is Victoria and this is a combination video response and vlog #2.
I found a blog today that had a vlog on it that really hit home with me, and I wanted to make a video response to Shelina, who is the author of the WriterInspired blog and the vlog I’m responding to.
I just wanted to say that you are not alone in this. All writer’s are afraid. Like… seriously. Especially for me, like, I’m terrified when I put anything out. Even on the blog, especially with the stuff I’m actually writing, but with the blog too.
I think that all writers, experienced and new writers, (especially new writers) are afraid of their readers. Like… any readers.
You said that the artist’ side of us is sensitive, and thats true. Like, pretty much nail on the head. We’re fragile when we show someone our work. We’ve cultured this thing and we’ve given it a life, and we’ve like, given birth to this story and these writings, and this whole world, and we show it to someone its absolutely terrifying. We’ve put all of this work into it, and to get a bad review, or a negative word about it is almost physically painful.
When I’m sharing something on the blog, or I’m sharing a piece of something that I’ve written, I’m… and I think this goes for all writers, you’re sharing a portion of yourself with people you dont know. Even when you’re sharing it with friends, its scary, because sometimes they’re honest, and… honesty sometimes hurts. Not gonna lie.
Sometimes I feel like I just wanna keep it all to myself, and never show anybody ever, and everybody can go away, and I can just write for myself. But, if I did that I wouldnt get anywhere.
I also think that honest feedback while sometimes… painful… is necessary for growth, and its part of a growing pain, and if I had to give you any advice.. Well, its not really advice, but…. we all feel like that. And we all experience the fear of putting our stuff out to be read,
And I dont know exactly how I’m dealing with it, because I just started, but I’m just trying to truck through it and take any criticism I get as something useful rather than “oh my god, they’re beating up on my brain child.”
So.. yeah. We’re all with you, we’re all afraid, you’re not the only one. Um… but yeah, just wanted to let you know. You’re not alone, we’re all afraid, we all have… this fear.
So, I have a confession to make: I don’t often make my word count quotas. Well, sometimes. I feel bad about that. I don’t know if it’s lazyness (it’s probably lazyness) or if I’m too easily distracted. It may be a bit of both, but the fact that I’m still going is encouraging right?
I feel like maybe I’m just freaking out too much. I started this thing with the idea in my head that I would spend every waking out not in school or at my job writing. So far, thats fairly accurate. I get up at the buttcrack of dawn, and am on the laptop until bedtime in most cases. Now, how much writing gets done, I don’t know.
Perhaps I’m simply making too much out of it; maybe numbers isn’t the thing. Perhaps writing is more fluid and less rational than that – maybe it just needs to come out, and wherever you get to is wherever you get to that day. I’m steadily making progress though.
It’s kind of scary.
Whats also kind of scary, is that I’m starting to get the first tiny whispers of feedback on the very first chapters. The book is in its infancy, but it seems to be able to stand on its own so far. I’ve had some very helpful criticism about the content, and its been remarkably helpful, even in these early stages.
I always feel I’m getting ahead of my with this thing. I’ll gaze longingly at bookcovers, or read up about paperback publishing options, and stuff. CALM DOWN TORI. BREATHE. (Or as Maegan would say, “CALM YO TITS”. It’s hilarious when she says it, I promise.)
I just have to keep telling myself, “Just write. Thats all you need to do. Just write. Trust Lucy to tell your story. Just write. Just write.”
Is it creepy that I talk about Lucy like she’s real? Does that happen for alot of writers? The more I write her, the more I feel I know her, and the more I feel I know her, the more I tend to refer to her in a third-ish person kind of sense. I like her. I like her world. I like Irwin, and I like Mishal. I dunno. Maybe thats weird.
As a semi-related note, I’m super excited to have a writing buddy. I think it helps alot. I like being able to bounce ideas off of her. I also like reading her book, and I wish there was more of it. I want her to finish it! I believe she can. I’m all wiggly with the prospects. e_e
Also, I have to go to work today. So, that sucks. I’d rather be writing.
I started a vlog to document my journey to publish my book. (I keep calling it a journey, but I cant think of any other suitable synonyms… project maybe?)
Either way, here’s me talking about stuff and things.
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