A light at the end of the tunnel. Okay, it’s more like a soft glowing thing in the middle of the tunnel, but its pointing in the right direction!
It’s been forever since I’ve updated my blog, and I feel bad about that, but I’ve been so busy! Book #2 is humming along nicely (finally), and I’ve put a self imposed publishing deadline of July 31st on myself. If I keep up with my writing schedule, I should be able to make that. I’ve got a different editor now, and book 2’s cover is done – I just have to pay for it. (Sorry Skylar! I promise I didn’t drop off the face of the earth!)
But yeah, I was able to finally hammer out the plot (thanks Maegan!) and I think… -think-… that Ghostwolf is in an okayish good place. Mostly.
I’ve discovered a curious thing – my book tells me what’s wrong with it.
Yeah, it’s true. As I’m writing it, I know exactly, in that moment whats bad and whats good. Like, I’ll write a scene, and be like, “Meh, I don’t like it. It’s too…” and then I’ll know exactly what it is. So then I make a little note and move on. As I clickity-clack along, I slowly figure out what’s good for the book and what isn’t. I’m terrible at explaining it, but that’s what happens. At the end of all this, I’ll have a bunch of notes to reshape the book. I really hope it ends up decent.
Admittedly, though, I’ve been kind of neglecting my ‘author platform’ as it were. I haven’t been on twitter in ages, and my facebook page hasn’t really had anything new in a while. Maybe this is just normal writing downtime? I mean, writers need down time to, you know… write and stuff. I hoping I’ll push through the rest of this book and clean it up in time to head it off to the editor.
Ghostwolf! You’re coming out no later than August! This I have thusly promised myself!
Ghostwolf – Book #2 of the Redhaven Saga – COMING JULY 31st… EVEN IF IT KILLS ME.
Is it called ‘just being lazy’? Did I just crap-out for the day?
I started off today with the intention that I would get some serious writing done, since it’s my first day off in like, a week. So why not take advantage of that time, eh? I did actually finish Chapter 10, so thats exciting. And then I kind of…never went back to it.
I played some GW2, played some Minecraft, and then sort of dilly-dallied. I missed my games! Maybe it’s a good thing to give the old noggin’ a break once in a while. Plus, you know, Saints Row 3 is fun too.
On the other hand, I’m afraid ‘a break’ will somehow lead to ‘totally slacking off quittersville’ but I think thats the old me. The new, writerly me is excited to dive back into some chapters. So, all in all, I think the only real damage is that I didn’t spend that time writting chapter 11.
Incase you couldn’t tell, this is more one of those ‘talking to myself about something’ kind of blog entries, although ya’ll are more than welcome to chime in.
Lazy, gaming comfort vs super productive, maybe bad-ish writing…. hmm.
A letter to my writing buddy:
So, something scary happened last night, but I’m glad it didn’t. My writing buddy and best friend Maegan almost threw in the towel with her book. She was having trouble with a chapter, and it was one of those important chapters that sets up stuff for later in the book. She couldn’t get it right, no matter how hard she tried. The feedback she’s been getting had discouraged her, and she had pretty much made the decision to give up, because her ‘writing was crap’. If she couldn’t fix the chapter, the rest of the book wouldn’t work.
I told her it was growing pains – it’s your first book, and the first draft will never be perfect. Thats what second drafts are for, and third. That’s what beta readers and editors are for. Thats what notes to yourself in your chapter files is for. I’m pretty sure every author ever has had a point in the beginning of their writer’s career that discouraged them to the point of quitting. But the difference between successful writers and non successful writers is the fact that the successful ones kept writing. You have to keep writing, no matter what! Everything is ‘fixable’.
Maegan! Never give up! Never surrender! Harper needs you! Your writing doesn’t suck! Stop doubting yourself and just do it!
Constructive criticism is a delicate subject. It hurts when someone tells you something you’ve written doesn’t quite work. But they’re not telling you that because the whole thing sucks – they’re helping you polish up this already cool, shiny thing. It’s not personal, and it’s not an attack on skill. It’s better to catch these things early and fix them. And you did! You fixed chapter 4, and it was fucking awesomesauce. Let it be a lesson to you! Never give up! Never surrender! YOU CAN DO EEEEET.
I knew she could do it. The moment I knew she could do it was when I asked her “Do you want to write a book?” and she said “yes”. That’s all you need. Really. Just the want to do it. SO DO IT.
I had the same kind of issue with my chapter 7. It was a life sucking black whole of shittyness. But in writing said shittyness, I figured out what parts of it were wrong, and wrote myself a note about. That way, when I get done and go back for edits and second draft, I’ll know exactly what I need to write. I’ve been there, my dear friend, and I feel you.
Just keep chugging away; you’ll get there.
Love you Maegan,
Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
I’ve done some of my worst writing today. Chapter 7 is a giant turd. I hate it. The good news is I know whats wrong with it, so thats helpful. It’ll probably be completely re-written in a later draft, but I’m still stuck driving through this slush of crappy phrases.
How do I get past this crap? Do I just soldier through? Not worry about? Maybe it’s not as turd-esque as I’m thinking?
….Can you tell I’m procrastinating again? >_> Chapter 7 has been haunting me for like, 3 days. >_< GO HOME CHAPTER 7, YOU’RE DRUNK,
Nah, I’m kiddng. I don’t really hate you. >_>
But everything kinda sucks. I caught a cold at work, and my ear aches cause I slept on it wrong, and my wisdom teeth are bothering me. So, basically, my head is about to a’splode.
I also really really really want a Kindle Fire now. I think I’m going to buy myself one after a little while. There are a ton of free books I want to read.
Also-also, chapter 7 is a bitch and I would like to be done with it now. :I But I have to go to work, and thats seriously cutting in on my writing time. (I realize it’s ironic to complain about things cutting in on writing time, when I’m sitting here blogging about it, but still)
…because sometimes, it’s nescessary.
Seriously, let me preface this by saying I’ve done some of the crappiest writing of my life in the past two ish days, because I can’t get that “writer’s grove” to sit in just the right place. I think it’s because I have a tooth ache again (some crappy annoying thing that happens with my wisdom teeth), and I think it’s distracting my brain from being it’s usual awesome self.
Anyway, I think I mentioned this somewhere before (or maybe only thought about mentioning it), but I think I said something about having to write turds for a while, until the good stuff came back. I really hate writing poo, but I keep telling myself thats what editing and multiple drafts are for.
I was in the middle of chapter, and I stopped and thought, “Okay, really… this is just horrible. This is like, mary-sue-esque cliche third grader writing. Wtf, Tori? Erase dat shit.” I really wanted to, but like that meme, I was like “ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!”, so on I went.
Sometimes I think it’s important to be your own cheerleader. No one else is gonna sit there and tell you its okay to do crappy, because your version of crappy isn’t actually all that crappy, and you’re just being a self-hating writer. Really, it’s probably not that bad, but it still irritates me. I’m one of those people who want to get it done exactly perfect, every time. That’s probably not very productive, but oh well.
Go, me! You can do it! What you think is crappy isn’t actually so bad! You can fix it later! Just keep writing, just keep writing, what do we do, we write, write~ Isn’t it cool to watch your chapter folder grow?
Why, yes Me, it is. Thank you for that pep talk.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in a bad mood or anything. It’s just that the weekend has totally wiped me out, and I can’t get my words to come out right. Rather than write a bunch of crap, I’ve opted to conveniently procrastinate instead. This is not productive, and if I was a dog, I’d be shamed with one of those little hand written signs. Really, I should be writing.
It’s not that I don’t want to. I really do. I’m just getting to the first big action-y HEE-YA part of the book. I just have this crappy feeling that it sounds lame, or it’s not coming out exactly right, or the characters are a little out of character. I don’t know what it is. It’s just not flowing as nicely as I’d like it to. I’m attributing this to the fatigue and slight tummy ache of still being kind of worn out from the weekend, but who really knows. Maybe it’s just one of those off kind of days.
I think the general remedy for this kind of writer’s block is just to write crap. Like, literally. You just write the crappy version and keep going, because thats what editing is for. But you know what? I wanna write it right the first time, dammit! >_<
Oh well. I’m hoping a good nights rest will keep me sane and creative. Maybe I’ll chisel out a bit more of this chapter and try and call it a night.
I don’t like writing crap, but I think it’s the only way I’ll be able to keep going. I can’t really just decide to ‘stop because I dont feel like it’, can I? No, not if I want to get it done in a timely manner, I don’t think. Music helps though. Thank god for music.
Crappy writing hooooooooooooooo~